Rend

I recently downloaded Jimmy Needham's newest album to listen to in the office. One of the songs has struck me in the past few weeks. The song "Rend" has to be arguably most beautiful songs I've ever heard, both in melody and in lyrics.

You’ve been tarnished
And you’ve been stained
And all the varnish you’ve used to cover up with is peeling away


Yet even now, return to me with nothing less
Than your wounded, broken heart
And cling to Me, your gracious King
Be shattered glass of empty jars and rend
Rend, rend, rend
Rend your hearts

You’ve been tarnished
And you’ve been stained
And all the varnish you’ve used to cover up with is peeling away

Yet even now, return to me with nothing less
Than your wounded, broken heart
And cling to Me, your gracious King
Be shattered glass of empty jars and rend
Rend, rend, rend
Rend your hearts

I don’t need a grand display
Show me that your heart has changed
I don’t need a show
Only just to know your own heart breaks

Yet even now, return to me with nothing less
Than your wounded, broken heart
And cling to Me, your gracious King
Be shattered glass of empty jars and rend
Rend, rend, rend
Rend your hearts

This life is a trip. I find that my personal "trip" is so ironic that I could be in a movie. I am broken, humbled, and confused. At this point of life, during my first major life transition post-college, I am struggling to adjust to a new living location, a new position, and reconciling whether or not I am where I am supposed to be in life. Wrestling with God's providence - whether or not I placed myself in this position or if He has ordained this for years. How much control did I have in putting myself in this place? And beyond the immense life changes of new apartment, new furniture, new landlord, new community, new church, new job lies the personal turmoil that almost no one knows about.

I am finding that my moods are volatile, my ability to be a dedicated and patient friend is limited. Some days I feel like I can conquer the world, others I feel like all I can do is shrink away.

I am truly what Jimmy Needham calls "shattered glass of empty jars." In the midst of all the storms, all the chaos, all the turbulence in my life...there is a rock. Throughout Psalms, David writes that we can take shelter under God's wings, which are like those of an eagle. For years this has been an illustration that I have clung to, and I find myself once again running for the cover of my invincible provider.