2 - What Defines Me?

In a society full of stereotypes, it is easy to slip into different categories and cliques of culture. These cliques allow us to gain a sense of belonging, of community, of "meaning."

enlightened artist - young professional - classic prep - rebellious goth - progressive liberal - traditional conservative - man's man outdoorsman - sports nut - environmentally conscious - social activist - travel connoisseur

Each one of these labels serve to bring about a notion of identity in people. Sometimes it's interesting to simply sit back and listen to how people describe themselves and observe how they try to align themselves with a certain niche of culture.

As I look around different blogs, many of them written by gay or bi individuals, I notice that much of the homosexual society does the same. There is such a sense of identity in the gay culture, suggesting that a homosexual orientation is the defining core of any individual. Then I see homosexuals that are Christians struggling so passionately with the question of whether God and the Christian faith are forcing them to be reject who they are because of the faith's standards on sexual behavior.

Reflecting on all of this, I asked myself this question: what defines me? Do I define myself through the labels of 21 year old/ 6'/ 165lb/ athletic/ dark / JCrew wearing / Office watching / gay guy? How do I acquire my identity? To what characteristics do I look to when defining myself? My answer, then, has to be to cast away everything. Sure, I am 6' with dark skin. Sure, I watch The Office (often). Sure, I am sexually attracted to men. But while these things are certainly a part of me, none of them define me.

My definition, since accepting Jesus Christ as my savior and submitting to Him as my Lord, comes from God. 2 Corinthians 5:17 states, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" The Lord, who created everyone with unique talents, gifts, and abilities, has defined who I am. Therefore, if I truly believe that the Lord is who defines me, then everything else pales in comparison as I decide what my lifestyle should be. There is less of a dispute within me of whether to be an 24/7 poker player -- if the Lord is my definition and my core value, then I can more peacefully release my desire to define myself as a poker player.

I think the same can be truly said about homosexuality...so many people put their sexual orientation at the pinnacle of "who they are." They suggest that it is the most fundamental part of their being. While I understand that certainly emotional and sexual attraction is a huge part of who I am - it doesn't compare to the definition that Jesus Christ gives me. I cannot choose my sexual orientation over God - it simply can't happen. Otherwise, I am giving less to the Lord than what He deserves: my everything.

This post isn't meant to be something that forces a belief of how people should live. Rather, it is simply reflecting on the fact that so much distraction in life can lead us to define ourselves by other things than our faith, when in reality our faith is the most crucial keystone of who we are as human beings. Just some thoughts to mull over...

1 - Me

What's up. My name is Will, and while you can read a bit about me on my "profile," I thought I'd clue everyone in and let you get to know me some more as I start this blog.

I'm a 21 year old guy here in the heartland of the United States. Born and raised in an awesome family, I have had an amazing and blessed life. From a blissful childhood to a rewarding experience in college, my life is what some might prescribe as "perfect." It's true, the Lord has blessed me beyond measure, and I am excited to use my talents and gifts to further His kingdom with the rest of my life.

Something that no one knows about me, though, is the reality of a deep struggle that I carry each and every day. For about six years now, I have been actively reconciling the presence of same-gendered attractions in my life. Responding with introspection to this issue - so taboo and unfortunately rarely addressed in Christian circles - has been, and continues to be, a journey in my life. It has caused me to often wrestle with, sometimes question, and eventually mature in my faith.

So - why am I writing this? I started this blog after being inspired by JJ, a fellow Christian that is struggling to decide how faith and her sexual orientation reconcile in her life. After reading some of her posts this evening, I was motivated to do what I have been contemplating for a while: begin a blog about my very true, very raw, and continually progressing relationship with homosexuality as a Christian.

Welcome to my life - I hope you can follow and help me as I begin this discussion and documentation.






A few things to clarify about me:
1) I have been a born-again Christian for most of my life. My faith rests in the saving power of Jesus Christ, who I believe is God's one and only son, who was miraculously born into this world, lived a sinless life, and was crucified in order to offer reconciliation and redemption between the Lord and humanity. Fundamental to my faith is the fact that God desires a personal, intimate relationship with every human being who He created unique and in His image.
2) In regards to my sexuality: I believe that at one point in my life (through memories and experiences), I was completely heterosexual. This orientation, due to various life experiences, evolved into being bi-sexual with a heavier emphasis on attraction to men. This is my story - I do not subscribe to any theory of the origins of homosexuality. I would never contend that it is completely environmental, nor do I think that it is completely genetic.
3) I am completely approachable about anything, and would love to hear your opinions and feedback on my blog. I will not, however, tolerate malicious speech or personal attacks aimed at myself or at others.